I spent most of my life feeling like I was always behind.
Not behind other people exactly. Just behind myself. Like there was a version of me that had it together, and I was constantly chasing her - never quite catching up.
I was the kid who left everything to the last minute. Not because I didn't care - because I physically couldn't start until the pressure was unbearable. I was the girl who had a million ideas and couldn't always see them through the way I wanted to. I started books and didn't finish them. I'd sit down to watch a movie with my husband and within twenty minutes I'd be on my phone. He'd tell me I was distracted. And I knew it was true. I just didn't know why.
Jumping from task to task. Starting things and not completing them. Hyperfocusing on something for hours, then suddenly not being able to engage with it at all. These were just... me. I thought.
I didn't know there was a name for it.
Before I go further, I want to address something. I know a lot of people think ADHD is a fad right now. A buzzword. Everyone seems to be getting diagnosed, and there's an eye-roll that comes with it in some circles.
Here's what I've come to understand: ADHD isn't new. It's just finally being recognised - especially in women and girls, who have historically been missed or misdiagnosed for decades. What's actually happening in the brain is a dopamine regulation issue. The prefrontal cortex - the part of the brain responsible for focus, planning, and impulse control - doesn't get the signals it needs to work efficiently. And that affects everything - your ability to start tasks, finish them, stay present, regulate your focus. It's not a personality flaw. It's not laziness. It's neurological.
For me, this explained so much. The books I never finished. The movies I couldn't sit through. The way my husband would look at me when I picked up my phone mid-conversation - not because I didn't want to be present, but because I genuinely didn't have the capacity to stay there without the right support. When I'm not on my meds, I don't have the ability to fully engage. That's not a choice. That's my brain.
Understanding that changed things for me.
About 18 months ago, I started going down a rabbit hole about adult ADHD. I was reading about it, quietly wondering if it explained a lot of things about my life.
Then I got a call from Alinta's kindergarten teacher.
Alinta is my daughter. She was five years old. Week five of kindergarten.
Her teacher had noticed some things. Could we come in for a chat?
I sat in that little room and I heard words that cracked something open in me. And I thought: this is me. She is describing me. At five years old.
They say ADHD often comes from a parent. I believe it.
Alinta and I have been on this journey together for about 12 months now. Medicated, both of us.
The difference has been life-changing. I mean that.
Since being medicated, I've been able to actually finish things. To focus. To sit with a task and complete it instead of spinning off into seventeen other things before I've started the first one. I work in blocks now - 35 minutes focused work, 5 minute break. Phone on do not disturb. No distractions. It sounds simple, but before medication, I couldn't have held that structure if I tried.
Alinta has a choice every day. She doesn't have to take her medication if she doesn't want to. And she always chooses to. Every time. A five-year-old. She knows the difference. She can feel it.
That gets me every time.
The thing about ADHD in girls is that we get very good at hiding it. We mask. We adapt. We smile, we compensate, we hustle harder to make up for the chaos in our heads. We look fine on the outside while running at 200% just to keep up. And so it goes undiagnosed. For years. For decades. For an entire lifetime.
I survived school. I survived young adulthood. I started businesses in my early twenties and built things I'm genuinely proud of. But I also carried a lot of shame about the things I couldn't finish, the focus I couldn't hold, the way I couldn't just sit still and be present the way everyone else seemed to.
Knowing what I know now, I wish I'd had this earlier. Not because I would have done everything differently - but because I would have been so much kinder to myself along the way.
We've been really open and transparent about our journey because I think it's important.
Not everyone needs medication. Not everyone will land in the same place we did. But if you're reading this and recognising yourself - the unfinished books, the task-jumping, the feeling of being in a pressure cooker, the relationships strained by distraction you couldn't control - please explore it. Talk to your GP. Ask the question.
You are not lazy. You are not broken. You might just have a brain that needs a different kind of support.
And if you have a daughter who's being flagged at school - that call from the teacher might be one of the most important conversations you ever have. It was for me.
Alinta and I are figuring this out together. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.
I talk a lot about business on here. But this is the stuff underneath the business. The stuff that actually matters.
If you want to talk more about this or share your own story, DM me ADHD on Instagram. I read every one.
Amy x